Somewhere To Be
by SilentG
Summary: Once again, Eames's sister accidentally 'helps' Bobby woo his lady fair. Features prickly Eames & popular Bobby. WAFF angsty romance, maybe S10. "I believe that you may not have let yourself think about it. I don't believe that you didn't feel it."
1. PEANUT BUTTER FLU

**Author:** SilentG  
><strong>Title:<strong> Always  
><strong>Fandom:<strong> LO:CI  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> B/A  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T for now  
><strong>Spoilers:<strong> Probably not.  
><strong>Archive:<strong> Anywhere – no need to ask – just attribute, and let me know if possible  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> Not mine  
><strong>Summary:<strong> Once again, Eames's sister accidentally 'helps' Bobby woo his lady fair. Features prickly Eames & popular Bobby. WAFF angsty romance, could take place Season 10. "I believe that you may not have let yourself think about it. I don't believe that you didn't feel it." 

**A/N 1:** This fic was inspired by the way AE's hair fwipped as she flounced out of the frame the end of the 1st S10 promo. I actually really hate BA fics that feature either of their families, or any kids at all, in anything more than the most peripheral roles. And then every so often I write one.

~.~.~.~.~

**CHAPTER ONE: PEANUT BUTTER FLU**

Alex Eames _wasn't_ going to cry. Not only because it would upset Nate, but because the spring day had turned stormy, and now she had to drive all the way to Brooklyn.

If a tear did squeeze out, she'd probably be OK. Strapped in tight in the back seat of her compact car, the little guy was captivated by the maelstrom outside; rain, thunder and lightning, and now hail with a rainbow behind it chased them across the Bridge. He wasn't grinning at her in the rear view mirror as he so often did on their way to or from wherever.

_What was she doing? _

Was she in the wrong, wanting to spend time with her favourite nephew? He _loved_ her, loved spending time with her. Couldn't she just have that little one thing?

That little. One?

Thing?

She had to concentrate on driving; the weather was making people crazy. But this detour was going to blow all their plans. Not that a trip to Central Park would have been ideal in this weather… But no. She wasn't going to let her sister off the hook. She was wrong and meddling and _wanted_ Alex's day with Nate to go off the rails. She always came up with something.

Today it was the book.

**o.o.o.o.o**

"_Hi sis."_

_What now? Alex tried not to scowl. "Hi, Liz. Can't talk long, I'm driving. What's up?"_

"_Well maybe you should pull over." _

_Ugh, those ominous words. Alex felt her neck tense with irritation. "OK sure. I'll call you back in two."_

_When she called her sister back, she learnt all about The Book. The Book that would mean her plans to spend the day with Nate at the park were shot all to hell. The book that she'd have to go all the way to Brooklyn to get, from some little hole in the wall bookstore she'd never heard of. And it had to be TODAY._

"…_why couldn't you have just ordered it on Amazon?" Like normal people do. Like you usually do._

"_It's not the book, it's the reading. The author's going to be there and she's gonna be signing copies. She's Nate's favourite author. I thought you'd think it was fun. Don't you go to readings?" _

_Alex rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, all the time." _

_Liz caught the sarcasm. "Well I thought you did. Didn't you mention a couple recently?"_

"_Yeah, like two years ago. Because apparently it's the new in thing for murderers."_

"_Don't talk about that stuff."_

_She sighed. "OK. Sorry. And Nate has a favourite author now? That's kinda cute." _

"_Yeah, apparently she's the shit. Get there early, because it'll be a mob."_

**o.o.o.o.o**

Delia Watters had written seven mystery books for preschoolers that appealed particularly to little boys, and it seemed that Nate had been an avid consumer since the tender age of four. "I really liked _The Pickle Pickle_, and I really really liked _Something's Up, Doc!_._"_

"Is that one your favourite?"

"No, my favourite one is _Nancy's Aunt's Pants_. But I didn't really like _Gravy Boat Baby_. But I sorta liked it."

They were late, but it couldn't be helped. Traffic had been awful, and she'd had a hard time finding parking since she really didn't know the neighbourhood. Now they were walking hand in hand, Alex skidding a bit in her high-heeled boots on the hail-covered sidewalk, down the neat little street with its funky shops and cafes.

The reading was supposed to start at two, and it was already eight minutes after. As they rounded a corner and the shop hove into view, all she could see through the windows was backs… the parents, hanging back to give the little ones room to see. With a knot in her stomach, Alex hoped that they hadn't missed too much, for Nate's sake. And she hoped they'd be able to get in.

The quaint bell had been taped to the doorjamb to keep it quiet. As they entered the bookstore, only the muffled sounds of the author's voice were audible. The place was choc-a-block, and Alex's whispered '_Excuse me_'s weren't doing much, so she murmured to Nate to budge through and try to find a place to sit down in front, and she tried to wedge herself between a couple of people so she could at least see the top of the author's head.

"_He sniffled over to Turtle Cake Sue_

_But all she had was cashew glue_

_In fact he couldn't find anyone who…"_

A mystery story for kindergarteners told in rhyme. The mind boggled. Alex picked up a copy of the featured book, _Peanut Butter Flu_, and was happy to see they'd only missed a page and a half of the reading.

As she edged towards one wall, she caught sight of Nate – or rather, the tip of one of his shoes – towards the back of the gaggle of children gathered around the author. Looking around the room, she saw mostly middle-class adults around her own age. There were three staff members behind the counter; a young man and woman looking bored, and an older – but still youngish – woman who might have been the proprietress, staring raptly in the direction of the voice and almost – _almost_ – mouthing the words.

She still couldn't really see Delia Watters; she had to be content with watching the salt-and-pepper head bob in time with her musically-intoned reading. Oddly, the author actually tapped her foot, as if she were singing instead of speaking.

That hair reminded her of Bobby. His wasn't as curly, but had the same proportion of black to grey.

Thinking of Bobby… she was almost painfully happy to be working with him again. It was a bit embarrassing to her, actually. The degree of her attachment surely wasn't healthy, was it? She didn't look at it too closely; didn't want to know. Was afraid to know. She just looked with a tinge of amusement, a dash of disdain, and a _soupçon_ of despair at the beaming face that grinned back at her in the mirror every morning before work, and even in the evening driving home.

It was very dangerous to put one's happiness in the hands of another person.

There was a strange movement just behind the author. She couldn't see it all the time, but when Watters swayed one way and the guy in front of her tilted his head the other, she could see something twitching and whirring. It took her a second to realise it was a signer. Wow, that was cool, but – Oh Geez – she hoped that wasn't the 'signing' her sister had heard about! A quick look around assured her that the author would be doing some signing too, _after_ the reading.

Another look at the children revealed a couple wearing big, boxy hearing aids around their necks, gazing at the person telling the story with his hands. It was a he, and for a second, Alex had the horrible sinking fear that maybe somehow it was Peter Lyons, from so long ago… but she couldn't really picture him doing something like this, and anyways, the possibility was remote.

At any rate, she couldn't get a glimpse of the guy any more than she could see the author. Embarrassed for even being so curious, she rocked back on her heels and endeavoured to concentrate on both the musical cadence of Delia Watters' voice, and the rhythm of those flying fingers.

**o.o.o.o.o**

The reading lasted until 2:45, including a Q&A session and an 'encore' reading of something Watters was working on. Reflecting on the day as she stood with the collected parents, she had to admit to herself that she wasn't entirely sorry Liz had seconded her to chauffeur Nate to this little 'do; whatever her reasons for doing so. Maybe her sister had wanted to twist the knife a little, but maybe not. And even if she had, it didn't take away from his enjoyment of the day. And Alex had enjoyed herself too. Being with other families made her feel good. Not only about being Nate's parent (for the day), but even about having him and handing him over. Doing the mundane things a parent would do legitimised her relationship with him, which in turn made her sacrifice more legitimate, in some weird way.

When the reading finally broke up, she sprang forward (with the copy of _Peanut Butter Flu_ that Liz had ordered) to make her way to Nate and get him in the signing line. Besides thinking deeply about her surrogacy, her relationship with Nate and her future in her sister's family, she'd also become intrigued with some of the dynamics in the bookstore.

The two young clerks were clearly canoodling, and it amused her to see the disapproving reactions of some of the more observant adults. _Was there something about becoming a parent that made people forget what it was like to be young?_ If that was true, then she definitely wasn't Nate's parent in any sense of the word, because she still found herself siding with the kids.

And the other woman, who turned out to be the owner, well she was interesting too. Yeah, she did turn out to be following Watters' reading word by word, _moving her lips_, but she was actually watching the signer, not the author. Avidly.

"Nate!" She found him standing in the reading circle, looking around for her. The store owner was organising the kids into a lineup, while some of the parents were gathering around Delia Watters.

"Auntie Alex! Did you hear the story?"

"I did." She picked up his hoodie from behind him on the floor and took his hand. "And look what your mummy got for you!"

He grabbed the book she held out for him and gazed at it. "Oh cool. _Peanut Butter Flu._"

"The author's signing people's copies of the book… do you wanna get in line?" She gently steered her nephew towards the kids waiting for their books to get autographed.

**o.o.o.o.o**

_Oh dear. _Alex had been standing with a gaggle of parents, watching Nate and feeling indulgent for letting him stand in line all by himself like the growing boy he was, when she noticed him pressing his knees together and making faces.

"Hey buddy, you gotta go?" She asked quietly as she moved to stand beside him.

He looked up at her and nodded. "But I don't wanna miss her."

"Well I'm sure they have a bathroom here." She looked around, trying to figure out how to do this. She couldn't really send him off by himself while she held his spot, but she didn't think the other parents would appreciate her whisking him out of the line and then budging back. "I'm just trying to figure out how to get you there without losing your place."

"What about Bobby?"

For a second Alex was startled, but then she realised that Bobby must be another kid she met here at the reading. "OK, good idea. Where is he?"

"Over there." And Nate pointed towards a hulking figure half-hidden in the back corner of the room, with his body turned away from the crowd, deep in conversation with the shopkeeper.

_Bobby. That _Bobby_. Her _Bobby_._

"Bobby! What's he doing here?"

"Doing the signs for the deaf kids," Nate replied, although she hadn't really addressed the question to him. It was such a surprise to see him here… that must be why she couldn't drag her eyes away from him, why there was suddenly a heart-shaped lump in her throat.

"Did he see you?" She asked, finally glancing down at her nephew.

"Yeah," he said.

"Did he recognise you?"

Nate gave an exaggerated shrug. "I guess so. He winked at me."

"Why didn't you tell me you'd seen him?" Belatedly, Alex realised that she was grilling him like a witness.

"I dunno," was Nate's succinct reply.

At that second, the subject of their conversation turned to accompany the shopkeeper somewhere, looked up, and his gaze rested on Alex and Nate. Alex braced herself for an expression of embarrassment that would attend unwitting discovery, but instead, the genuine surprise and pleasure that spread across his face suffused her with warmth. She waved weakly at him, and Bobby hurried to make his way over to them.

"Hey you," she said, looking up at her partner and trying not to grin like a loon.

"Hey yourself," he replied, making no effort to hide his own smile. "I didn't expect to see you here," he continued. "I thought you got Nate next weekend."

"Nope. This one," she said unnecessarily. "Hey Bobby, if you're not busy this second…"

But she didn't need to finish… he'd already noticed Nate's pre-occupied squirming. "The bathroom's that way," he said, pointing. "You want me to save your spot?"

"Thanks," she said, holding her hand out to her nephew. When she looked back at Bobby she paused for a moment… he looked like he wanted to say something else to her. "What?"

He just shook his head and waved vaguely the way he did. "Only six kids in front of you. I'll catch you when you get back. You two have somewhere to be?"

She shook her head as she walked away, feeling a little bit giddy.

As she stood outside the men's bathroom waiting for her nephew (he _was_ big enough to go by himself, and she wanted to spare him the indignity of using the ladies' room), she thought she'd figured out what must have happened with Bobby… While Alex's parents had forgiven her partner, her brother and sister had never gotten over blaming him for Gage, the mark in her jacket, her quitting, blah blah blah… He must have been hiding because he thought Nathan was here with Liz and Simon.

It made her really happy to conclude that he hadn't been avoiding _her_.

**o.o.o.o.o**

"You're that good, huh? At signing? I had no idea." They were standing a little off to the side, watching Nathan chat animatedly with Mrs. Watters. There were only a few kids left, and the store had mostly emptied out. Alex was very physically aware of her partner, looking strong and comfortable in a blueish fisherman's sweater that looked hand-knit, a cerulean dress shirt undone at the throat and a pair of black trousers that fit him really well.

"No, not really… because it's mostly reading from the books, I can take them ahead of time to learn them a bit. And during the Q&A, the adults are speaking in simple language for the kids. So it's not that hard." She looked up at her partner to find him staring at her in a way that made her feel fluttery and self-conscious… she touched her throat reflexively and tried to transmute the unaccustomed feelings into irritation.

But it didn't work. He looked adorable, he was clearly glad to see her, and he'd been _translating a story into sign language for little kiddies, for chrissake. _How could she be irritated at that? And if the shopkeeper had seemed very comfortable with him, and if she'd been staring at them the whole time they'd been talking, that was none of her business, so she couldn't really be bothered about that either, now could she?

Speaking of the shopkeeper, yeah, Alex couldn't really miss the notice she'd taken of Bobby talking to, and being completely focused on, Alex and Nate for the past 10 minutes or so. She was around Alex's age, maybe a little younger, pretty and charming in a wholesome, kind of hippyish way. She seemed to be rushing to get through her work behind the counter; Alex predicted that her haste was to catch up with Bobby and find out who'd captured his attention. Alex's head told her she shouldn't care, Bobby's personal life was no more her affair than hers was his, but she couldn't quell the surge of possessiveness that made her linger, drawing out their conversation.

"How did you find this place?"

He shook his head and laughed. "Actually, I came here for a gift for Nathan." He grinned at her incredulity. "For his fourth birthday."

"_You_ introduced him to Delia Watters?"

"Yup. Nancy's Aunt's Pants. I thought of you when I saw it."

"Nancy's Aunt's Pants? And you thought of me," she drawled, scowling. "Thought of me how, exactly?"

"Well I, uh…"

He seemed relieved to be interrupted by the author herself, who came over with Nate to thank Bobby for his contribution to the reading.

**o.o.o.o.o**

Delia Watters had just turned away to chat with a couple of parents when Alex spotted the curtain of swinging blonde hair rushing at them like a hyena. No, that was mean. The bookstore owner moved like a ballerina, and her long limbs and soft kid flats and daintily outlined clavicle making Alex self-conscious of her heels-shortened calf muscles and weightlifter's pecs.

She kept her face and body turned completely towards her partner, who was earnestly explaining why he'd chosen to buy Nate's books out of publication order, and when the other woman _~?~_ laid her hand on Bobby's arm to get his attention, Alex crowed just a tiny bit inside at how his body turned slightly at the pressure but he couldn't seem to drag his gaze away until Alex had acknowledged his rationale with a smile and a nod.

"Bobby, who's this?" _Oh dear_. Her pinched face and insistent tugging was very telling. Could she actually be his girlfriend? The heart-shaped lump fell from Alex's throat into the pit of her stomach.

Bobby finally looked down at the woman clutching his arm, but it was his partner whom he addressed when he opened his mouth. "Eames, this is, um, Alexa. Alexa, Alex Eames."

"I beg your pardon?" Alex started in genuine surprise, while Nate stared up at them with his mouth open.

Bobby laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, um, heh. Alexa, this is Nate." He waved down at the little guy, and Alexa the shopkeeper examined each of them in turn.

**o.o.o.o.o**

"She's my tummy mummy!"

Alex never again wanted to go through the agony of witnessing Bobby Goren's attempts to explain the intricacies of their relationship, never mind her family dynamics. She didn't know whether to be pleased or disappointed that he had apparently told _Alexa_ nothing about her. Of course the woman had assumed – _hopefully_ – that Nate was her child. Bobby's stammering correction had failed to clear anything up… thank heavens for Nate and his blunt, if twee, exclamation.

Alexa paused, blank-faced, for a second, then recognition set in. "You were his surrogate? Wow." She looked impressed and maybe a little disgusted, and both Bobby and Nathan beamed with pride. "I don't think I could ever do that," she blurted.

"Why not?" Bobby and Nathan asked in unison.

At that exact second, as Alex stood trying to look indignant, the shopkeeper appeared to realise the gravity of her mis-step. Of course Alex wasn't offended, but the woman's words were a bit callous. Maybe that was just the kind of person she was. One could hope.

But no, she wasn't callous, she was just thoughtless. The shopkeeper looked down at Nate almost in agony, and Alex took pity on her. Any answer she gave, or at least any half-way honest answer, would be awkward and even painful for the little guy… the poor woman couldn't know how mature and philosophical Nate was about such discussions… she couldn't know that he'd heard it all before. And she was clearly not used to thinking on her feet. "Well surrogacy is really expensive and time consuming, kiddo. Your mom and dad and I all have great health plans and stable jobs, but Alexa is a business owner, and she can't take all that time away from working at her shop," Alex said. She hazarded a glance at her partner, and the raw admiration on his face warmed her inside.

"Yeah," Alexa mumbled, and the three adults were temporarily still, Alex and Bobby locking gazes while the shopkeeper stood, a little deflated.

"You wanna go grab a coffee?" Bobby asked abruptly just as she reached for Nate's hand. For a second Alex didn't realise he was speaking to her. Neither did Alexa, apparently, because she stirred and looked up at the big man. "Alex? Or…" His hopeful face surprised her, but made her oddly happy for some reason.

"Well, we…"

"Oh, um, weren't we…"

Alex trailed off and let the other woman speak. "Sorry," she said, glancing at Alex, "Bobby I thought we were going out after?"

Confused and embarrassed, Bobby breathed loudly through pursed lips, as if he could suck the right answer out of the air. "Um, were we?" He scratched his head and rubbed the back of his neck. "Cuz I, uh…" Both women stared at him, but he didn't say anything else.

Alex was surprised to realise that she _wanted_ to go get coffee with her partner. But there was no real reason to… "Bobby, we see each other practically every day…" _Oh!_ _Why did she say that?_

"Yeah, but I don't get to take you to my favourite coffee joint every day," was his surprising response. The butterflies Alex felt were because it was apparent by his manner that Bobby was actually trying to be persuasive. Something he almost never did with her. "They've got hot chocolate," he murmured, standing close, "If you don't feel like coffee." He looked down and made a comical face at Nathan, who'd heard the exchange. _That rat bastard_. _He was actually using Nate as leverage!_

It worked. "Please can we Auntie Lexie?" The sunny smile Bobby gave both of them both thrilled and infuriated her.

She tried to go with the fury. "Fine. Let's go." She glanced at her partner hoping to see contrition, but he grinned on.

"Well have fun guys," Alexa said, rallying. "You going to that place you took me, Café Bandits?"

"Nope," Bobby mumbled over his shoulder as he followed Alex and Nate out the door.

~.~.~.~.~

**A/N 2:** When I first had the kernel of an idea for this fic, I made the shopkeeper's name Alexa. Then when I wrote the fic, I thought it was weird and changed it. Then I changed it back… I hope it's not distracting.

WORDS: 3998 UPLOADED Monday, April 25, 2011

_**If you can read this, please leave a review! I love every word, even if it's only one or two. Flames welcome!**_


	2. JUST

**A/N 1:** I don't know if I've ever written a whole fic from one person's POV.

~.~.~.~.~

**CHAPTER TWO: JUST**

The next day, Monday, they'd spent most of the day at 1PP reviewing evidence, but now, late afternoon in the rain, they were heading out to the morgue.

All day she'd made a point of not mentioning Bobby's regular visits to the bookstore; she told herself it was because it was none of her business and she didn't care, anyway.

But Bobby did mention it. "Eames?" He touched her elbow to get her attention as they were walking to the SUV. "Alexa and I, we're not… I mean, she's just…"

"Whatever, I didn't give it a thought." Which was true in a way, she'd forced herself not to.

"Well, I just, I mean…"

"But are you sure _she_ knows that?" Alex asked. "With a standing coffee date and all?"

"Coffees aren't dates," he said as he opened the passenger door.

Which was true. Which was perfectly true.

**o.o.o.o.o**

_Their_ coffee certainly hadn't been a date. _As if_ she'd go on a date with her partner. _As if_ he'd want her to.

**o.o.o.o.o**

Bobby's favourite café had turned out to be _kAkAw_, a micro-roaster run by a sturdy, friendly El Salvadoran family from the basement of an actual vinyl record store. The 'café' part was four tiny tables and six bar stools clustered around a huge butcher block table topped with an espresso machine. There was no menu.

"_They bring the beans in from El Salvador and roast them here," he murmured. "Apparently they're keeping their whole home town employed." _

_Alex grunted. She actually couldn't speak… the smell of the place was that good. Bobby noticed, and a gentle smile bloomed on his face. "You like it, huh?" _

"_I… do. I don't know how the hippies upstairs get any work done." A little overwhelmed by Bobby's attention… he'd continued to stare at her… she'd opted for humour. He chuckled a bit but his focus didn't waver. She got the feeling it really mattered to him that she liked the place._

"_Where's the hot chocolate?" Nate asked. With his typical independence, he'd broken away from the two adults as soon as they'd arrived and had been wandering around examining the operation. Now he was back, the top of his head dead even with the big wooden table._

_It turned out that the hot chocolate was a spicy blend, influenced by the Aztecs, who had themselves been influenced by the ancient Mayans. As all three of them watched the barista steam the milk and drop in a whole ounce of chocolate, Bobby whispered that the Aztec name was xocolatl, possibly named after Xochiquetzal, the goddess of fertility. _

"_But ours is much sweeter," the barista said, holding out a pinch of spice for Nate to sniff before she sprinkled it into the mix._

_The drink having been pronounced tasty, Alex and Bobby continued to stand next to each other at the bar waiting for their cappuccinos, while Nate resumed his wandering, sipping carefully from his big round cup._

The afternoon had flown by. Whether from the hot drinks, the cosy room – or the company? – Bobby's face had been rosy and beaming, and Alex had felt a warm flush on her own cheeks.

They'd talked about everything except work and family. Bobby and Alex had both kept Nate amused, with Bobby's magic tricks and discussions about bugs and books, and when Nate had hunkered down on one of the bags of coffee beans with his new acquisition _('Is this a beanbag chair?' he'd asked slyly)_, the more grownup conversation between the two partners (movies featuring coffee or chocolate in the plot, the political climate in El Salvador and its effect on the economy) had been easy and engaging.

When Liz had called at around six, a little pissed off, Alex didn't think she'd imagined Bobby's reluctance to accept that their sojourn was over.

"Is that your sister? Let me talk to her," he'd brayed in a broad Canarsie accent that made him sound at once threatening and humourous. Alex had batted his hand away, listening with sinking spirits to Liz's petulant litany. _~school night~ … ~snow flurries~ … ~homework!~ …_ "Couldn't he have done his five minutes of homework before?" Bobby'd muttered, saying what Alex never felt she could.

She'd just listened, ignoring Nate's stare and Bobby's sulk, cleared her throat and said they'd head off now.

The walk back to where she'd parked her car had been quiet and awkward. Bobby's '_Well, see ya tomorrow,_' had sounded melancholy to her ears, and her voice had cracked when she'd told him yes. Nate had added another layer of pathos by singing, '_Ya, see you tomorrow!_', and getting teary later in the car when she'd told him that wouldn't be happening.

Back home, reviewing the day and her feelings under the spray of a hot shower, Alex decided that while good things had happened that day – Nate getting the book and meeting Delia Watters, Bobby being so relaxed and cheerful and – yes, handsome – when he saw them at the bookstore, and finding that café – on the whole, it had not been a good idea, and it would be a good thing that it would never be repeated.

Seeing that glimpse of Bobby's life had made her sad, for some reason. Especially now, that things were going his way, there was something warm and sparkly about the space he inhabited. It pulled her, leaving a sick feeling in her stomach. She recognised the feeling… longing. It was the same feeling she'd felt for a long time with Nate and everything in his world.

Until she realised that she'd never been as welcome there as she had believed. Awoke with a body-slamming shock to the revelation that while she'd been basking, others had been squirming with impatience for her to leave them alone.

It was an important lesson. Sharing the scintillating world of Bobby's Silver Age would have to remain a workplace thing.

**o.o.o.o.o**

"So have you been signing at that place the whole time?" It was still Monday, early evening, and Alex was sitting across from Bobby at a diner clutching a cup of cold coffee while he split their bill in his head. "As far back as the Kellerman case?"

Bobby shook his head. "Nah. It was after that. I popped by one day and struck up a conversation with the owner, and she had a need, I had an interest, and the rest is history." He looked up, smiling, but Alex couldn't face him. _…popped by…she had a need…I had an interest… the rest is history…_

It didn't sound like _just_…

~.~.~.~.~

**A/N 2: **The Kellerman case was Silencer.


	3. DINNER & A MOVIE

**A/N 1:** This fic was going to be complete in five chapters, but now I've got an idea for an epilogue.

~.~.~.~.~

**CHAPTER THREE: DINNER AND A MOVIE**

All week Bobby had been quiet, in his head. Which was fine with Alex, because she had to admit that she felt a teensy bit funny around him. Their day on Sunday had stuck with her, like a half-remembered unsettling dream… or like a sad truth quietly discovered and quickly suppressed.

Well if that was what socialising with him totally outside work would render, then it was probably a good thing that she sensed he was as ambivalent about it as she had decided to be.

"Let's take a break and grab some dinner," Bobby said as they tramped back up to 1PP, legs and shoes soggy from another spring rain. "Unless you're ready to cut out?"

It was after seven on Friday night but she wasn't really ready to cut out. In fact, despite a week of him being sullen and her distracted, she'd been reluctant to see her workdays end. She blamed it on the miserable weather dragging her down during the long drives home. Somehow it was easier to tolerate the later she left.

"Yeah, OK. PJ's? I'm in the mood for a burger." Bobby nodded, and they wordlessly clocked out, checked their weapons and headed to her car.

**o.o.o.o.o**

"Sorry, Eames, um… I'm soaked. Any chance you could drop me by my place to get changed? I know it's out of our way."

Alex glared at her reflection in the rear-view mirror, knowing Bobby would see. Why couldn't he have felt 'soaked' back at 1PP? They both kept changes of clothes in their lockers, and she was _hungry_! PJ's juicy burgers were beckoning her, even though she knew how unhealthy they were. "I have some clean sweats in my gym bag," she groused.

"Sure, but I don't think your running shoes would fit me." Bobby turned towards her in the car the way he had so many times, and the casual intimacy of the moment softened her. She saw his smile out of the corner of her eye and she couldn't help returning it.

"OK fine," she sighed. "I hate being wet too, we'll think better when we're dry."

**o.o.o.o.o**

Alex followed her partner up the stairs to his apartment, gym bag in tow. She wasn't mad any more… she was feeling miserable with wet shoes and socks and pant legs too, but if she hadn't thought to change, how could she blame him for the same oversight? Standing in front of his door as he fumbled with his keys, she felt awkward and self-conscious, as if they were slipping away for an assignation. She couldn't remember if she'd ever been to Bobby's place at night before… maybe that was what made the moment feel so raw and personal. And his clumsy fingers seemed to echo her feelings.

Bobby's tiny washroom was off the bedroom, so she offered to wait while he changed.

Looking around, his place was pretty much the same as it had been last year, but sans the casefile contents scattered everywhere. It was extra-tidy, actually; Alex wondered if he'd been _entertaining_. _Probably_, she thought. He'd been looking very good lately, and by all accounts had been feeling better too. For all she knew, he was seriously involved with someone. The thought made her glum for some reason.

"OK, your turn." Bobby's reedy tenor caught her in the middle of daydreaming about their meeting last Sunday… something that had happened often in the preceding week. With a sigh, she schlepped her gym bag through his little bedroom, trying not to think about what her partner – a relatively healthy, still relatively young, man – might have been getting up to therein.

**o.o.o.o.o**

It felt good to put on dry clothes. Alex wiggled her toes – her warm, _dry_ toes, in scrunchy dry socks and runners – while she pulled on a hoodie over her tanktop and fleece. Bobby's apartment was chilly, but not nearly as cold as it would be when they went back outside. She leaned over the sink and peered down, trying to catch a glimpse of the matching sweatpants she had on. Not the most flattering thing she'd ever worn, but there was nothing to be done about that.

When she opened the bedroom door, something seemed different about Bobby's apartment. There was a soft light on in the living room, and her partner was leaning over something on the kitchen counter. "I turned the heat on," he said without turning around. "Actually I thought…" – he looked really good in a neatly-fitted oxford, worn but clean and tidy jeans and loafers – "That maybe we could call it a night and just have dinner here?"

**o.o.o.o.o**

As she approached her partner's hulking presence in the kitchen, it became apparent that he'd gone to some trouble. Several little plates and bowls of food – a couple of which she didn't recognise – were laid out, and he'd filled a decanter with red wine. "It's not burgers, but…" He turned and looked down at her with a hopeful smile.

"No, it looks good… I think. What the heck is it?" This development had thrown her completely off-kilter. What was going on? Had he done something he was trying to apologise for? Was he going to break some awkward news to her? Alex tried to fight the rising tide of panic, and trust her partner and his relaxed, cheerful demeanour. Whatever it was, couldn't be that bad.

With a flourish, Bobby began pulling off the plastic wrap as he answered. "This one is Macedonian feta with chopped olives, olive oil and Greek oregano." The plate was piled with snowy white slivers of cheese, ringed with black olive pieces and sprinkled with a smattering of gold and green from the herbs and oil. "Smoked oysters with fresh dill." Alex raised her eyebrows but said nothing. "Figs with proscuitto. Asparagus and Dijon aioli. Tomato slices with gorgonzola. And a loaf of crusty bread."

"Oh my gosh." Bobby's description of the dishes was making her mouth water. Forgotten was all her anxiety over his motivation; she was ready for dinner! "So are we eating it right here?" She asked half-jokingly. Everything looked so good that she actually could have just stood there stuffing her face.

"Nah, I thought we could go to the living room. And watch a movie, if you like. That's why I picked finger foods."

"Picked? You didn't make them?" Not that she actually thought he had. She followed Bobby with a couple of plates in her hands as he shuffled towards the low table in the front room.

"I made everything but the oysters," he answered to her surprise.

"Wow." She helped him lay out all the plates and bowls, and after telling her to get comfortable on the sofa, he ran back to fetch the wine and some water, plates, cutlery and two big cloth napkins. "You must entertain like this often," she said, "You've got it down." She realised too late how crass that sounded. Would her intuitive partner catch that she was fishing for information? She hoped not.

"Not at all," he replied, staring at her for a long moment, "This is the first time."

"Oh, well…" Now she really had nowhere to go with this. And Bobby was smirking expectantly at her; clearly he'd figured her out. "So you said something about a movie?"

**o.o.o.o.o**

Bobby suggested they serve themselves before she chose between the two DVDs he'd rented. "Then I can turn the lights down," he said. Alex accepted his offer to fill her plate for her. "Everything except the feta – we can just scoop that straight onto some bread." He produced a tiny, dusty bottle, "For the figs and tomatoes. It's the best Balsamico money can buy. Tastes like candy."

So did the feta, she told him. She was so hungry, she couldn't wait, and her first taste of the tender, creamy, crumbly feta on a hunk of bread was absolute bliss. "Oh. My. Gosh. I always thought this stuff tasted like salty wet sawdust. This is amazing."

"I like the Macedonian best for snacking. What you've had was probably made with cow's milk, which isn't really feta."

She then blurted a (meant to be rhetorical) question about the location and providence of Macedonia, from whence sprung a long (mostly one-sided) conversation about the Caucasus, the Macedonian and Ottoman Empires, and the Jewish Diaspora.

Meanwhile she enjoyed the feast Bobby had prepared for them, although Bobby himself didn't seem too hungry. Alex refused to feel self-conscious about helping herself to seconds. "So… seafood, white bread, white asparagus, and red wine?" She was teasing, not complaining; it was a very nice table wine that went well with everything he'd served her.

"Oh, I don't drink white wine with anything, Eames," he said with a sly look.

"Me neither," she smirked.

**o.o.o.o.o**

"Movies!" Bobby exclaimed, bouncing up. The conversation had carried on so effortlessly that they were almost done eating. Alex looked at her watch. "You have somewhere to be?" He asked, echoing his words of the past Sunday. He plopped himself back down on the sofa, tapping the DVDs against each other and staring at her.

Alex didn't want to leave. But she felt a little awkward watching a movie at Bobby's house on a Friday night. Like it was a date, which this wasn't.

"Dinner's not over," he said hopefully. "I have dessert."

"Oh well then, I can't leave now can I?" She joked.

Which feeling was banished when he placed the videos in her hands and told her to choose. _Chocolat_ and _Like Water for Chocolate_, "After our conversation last week," Bobby said by way of explanation.

Two stories of overwhelming unrequited love and passion made manifest with the aid of food.

~.~.~.~.~

_**Thank you so much for reading! Please please review!**_

WORDS: 1718 UPLOADED Sunday, May 8, 2011


	4. NOW THIS, ON THE OTHER HAND

**A/N 1: **Thisfic was written well before Season 10 started; in fact, part of it was written before I knew there would be a Season 10. So… there are one or two words in this chapter that you might object to as no longer accurate… but I really liked the scene, and so I wanted to leave it as-is. Enjoy!

~.~.~.~.~

**CHAPTER FOUR: NOW THIS, ON THE OTHER HAND…**

"You know that both these movies are a bit racy," she drawled as her partner cleared the remains of their feast from the coffee table.

"Oh, heh, are they," Bobby asked, taking the breadbasket from her and laying a clean napkin over it. "I haven't seen either of them."

Alex felt a little bit nervous, actually, about cozying up with Bobby in his living room eating dessert in the dark and watching either one of these movies. It was just so not what they would ever do together. Except… here they were.

As she had earlier, Alex decided to put aside her anxiety and just trust her partner. He was happy, he was relaxed, he thought everything was going fine. And he wouldn't hurt her or use her or steer her wrong. Would he?

"So you've seen them both, I gather," he asked. She'd followed him to the kitchen and was helping him wrap the leftover food and put it away. She paused for a beat, expecting him to offer to watch something else instead, but he didn't. "Any preference?" He took out a fresh J-cloth, wet it, and used it to wipe down the counters and the refrigerator. He looked really good and really happy, bouncing around the little kitchen cleaning and straightening with his beautiful hands. She thought of all the sad times he must have spent in this place, and was suddenly very very glad she'd decided to trust her gut (literally) and stay. If this was a happy moment for him, she wanted to help him keep it, and moreover, she wanted to share it with him.

"I, um…" Alex felt self-conscious talking about it… in fact, both films had gotten her really hot. "They're both great, actually." She thought of two things… the naked woman on the back of a horse in the Latin American one, and the hunky Alfred Molina in orgasmic chocolate throes in the shop window in the French one.

Bobby sent her back into the living room with instructions to pick one and set it up. The previews were playing on mute when Bobby came back with a plate piled high with something.

"I looked all over the place for fresh ones of these." He gently settled the serving dish before handing her a plate.

"What are they? They look good."

"Caña de crema, Spanish pastries. Kinda like a cross between a cannoli and an éclair."

"Oh my. You trying to fatten me up, Goren?"

"Nope. That's, uh, not what I'm trying to do." Before she could even wonder at his words, he'd turned on his heel and hustled back to the kitchen. The last preview was just starting when he returned with two huge mugs and sat down.

"Was that an espresso machine I heard in there?"

"Yeah," he said with a smile. "I just bought it a couple of days ago."

"You? An espresso machine?"

He just shrugged. "Pastry?" He asked, handing her a plate. "So which movie did you choose?"

"_Chocolat_. I think the other is more your style, but this one has a less… complicated ending."

He smiled cryptically at her.

She turned the mute button off and picked up her cup, but had to pause the video, she was so surprised. "What's _this_?"

"You didn't get to try any of that hot chocolate on Sunday, did you?"

**o.o.o.o.o**

Alex spent most of the next two hours watching her partner out of the corner of her eye. She'd seen the movie about fifteen times – with her sister, her mom, her older nieces, by herself – and even though she loved it, seeing the play of emotions across Bobby's face was much more captivating. A few times he took a breath and half-turned towards her as if to issue some addendum or correction to something on the screen, but each time he stopped himself and turned back with a smile.

The pastries turned out to be as delicious as they looked, and – well, they washed them down with hot chocolate – not just any hot chocolate, but the exact stuff served at _kAkAw_. Bobby had gone there and apparently sweet-talked the barista out of a couple of servings worth of super-awesome chocolate and fancy spices, then whomped it up with his new _espresso machine_.

The overarching significance of which was more than Alex could take in at that exact moment, so she filed it away to think about later. It wasn't hard. The peaceful flickering light and warm room, plus her full tummy and the company, made it easy to set aside meta-analysis.

When the final credits rolled, Alex was surprised at herself for how little she'd squirmed, considering the subject matter. Actually the evening, despite starting out awkwardly, had ended up OK. She knew she'd pay later, torturing herself by reliving these pleasant hours in her lonely apartment, but for now the company of her partner, so happy and relaxed, was enough.

"So d'you think Vianne and Roux have a future?" Neither had moved from their places at either ends of the sofa. Alex let her eyes wander around Bobby's room, while he stared at her with an inscrutable expression.

"I dunno," she said, shrugging. "They're both wanderers. It seems statistically improbable." Bobby made a face at her. "What?" She stood up and began waving her arms and pacing in a parody of him. "One, they both prefer to wander. So what's the likelihood that they'd both be able to love being stuck in the same place, even together? And two, how likely is it that if they both take up wandering, they'd both be happy wandering to the same places?" She tilted her head to the side, looked quizzically at him and sat down, half-bowing at his appreciative grin.

"What about Reynaud and Caroline?"

Alex didn't really want to think about them. "Their situation seemed more complicated."

"As Carver liked to say, '_That bell can't be un-rung, people_.'"

She nodded reluctantly. "I think it would be very difficult for them to stuff it all back down."

"And painful." She looked at her partner to see a burning hunger and sadness in his eyes.

And just like that, the mood was broken. She excused herself to go freshen up, mumbling about the hour.

**o.o.o.o.o**

Alex returned from the washroom to find Bobby standing up, propped against the kitchen counter. She wandered over to him and began zipping up her hoodie. She'd wanted all evening to ask him why he'd gone to all this trouble… not only the food, but the ruse about their wet clothes and the restaurant. However, now that she had the chance, she hesitated. Perhaps it was better not to know. "Well," she mumbled hoarsely, tilting her face up but not quite meeting his eyes, "Thanks for dinner… I had – a good time. Any plans for the weekend?"

She didn't realise how close she was to him until he reached out and tentatively held her waist. Her breath caught in her throat… he'd never touched her so intimately in all their time together; even when he'd hugged her goodbye, his hands hadn't felt so… so… "Alex, I, um…" Even though at the angle he was leaning he was closer to her height, he'd tilted his head and bent over her. _Oh god, he was going to kiss her…_ Emotions – longing, panic, rage – that she'd kept carefully tamped down bubbled to the surface, making her breath catch and her body tense.

"Bobby…" She pulled back ever so slightly and he instantly let her go, looking down and away with a laugh to cover his embarrassment.

"Sorry, Eames. I, uh…"

She found herself reaching for him, and when her hand settled on his breastplate, just over his heart, the possibilities of what he was offering, as scary as it was, threatened to overtake her. Touching him felt right… was that what he'd felt a few moments ago when he'd held her waist? "So that's…" She felt like an idiot. "I'm not saying no," she found herself admitting.

He examined her face carefully, and she found the scrutiny intimate, arousing even. It would be so easy to love this man.

"Then what are you saying?"

All of a sudden she felt self-conscious with her palm over his heart like this, especially since now that she kind of _wanted _him to touch her, he was keeping his hands jammed in his jeans pockets. But she didn't draw away. "I'm saying, why me?"

Her question came out bitchier than she'd intended, and she felt the muscles under her fingers tense as his face grew stormy. But he continued to sit stock still. "I mean, am I…"

"Don't."

At this she finally withdrew, and his scowl deepened, but she continued on through him. "Am I really what you want? Or just what's here? I'm your partner, too old to have children, damaged goods…"

"Well what about me? I'm grizzled, fat, professional kryptonite?"

"Bobby, you're not fat."

His face registered utter shock and they stared at each other, unmoving, until she smirked and his bark of a laugh broke the tableau.

He took her hand, held it for a few seconds, then placed it back over his heart. "Well?" He asked. "You touched me back."

She shook her head. Did he know what he was asking? One of them had to think clearly about this… too bad her head, along with the rest of her, was quickly succumbing to the magic of this moment. "It would be… difficult," she finally said.

"It would be worth it."

She wasn't convinced. "What would 'it' be? I mean a week ago I didn't even…"

He answered her with a kiss.

**o.o.o.o.o**

When Bobby's lips touched hers, Alex's eyelids slid shut and her breath hitched. He held her gently, with his hands on her shoulderblades and his knees pressed against the fronts of her thighs. She responded without reservation, the movement of her mouth against his eliciting soft sounds that he didn't seem to be aware of making. She first held his waist, then slid her hands up to his shoulders, tugging a little to pull him down. Then he deepened their kiss, drawing her closer and touching his tongue to hers.

When she couldn't stand it any more, she broke away and tried to pull out of his embrace. When he didn't yield, instead she buried her face in the crook of his neck. He tightened his arms around her and she easily moulded herself to the planes of his body. She both felt and heard a low rumble of contentment deep in his chest. They had never been this close to each other.

"I don't believe that a week ago you 'didn't even'… I believe that you may not have let yourself think about it. I don't believe that you didn't feel it."

"OK maybe. I'm not saying you're right, but I'll give you that maybe… but this, _seduction_, whatever this production was, what was it in aid of?"

"Are you asking me if, now that I'm feeling better, I'm ready to get laid?" Her partner's voice was low and sexy, and his breath was hot as her murmured in her ear.

She shrugged but kept her face hidden in his collar. She felt him tug at a hank of her hair, then use a finger to gently tilt her head up. "That's not what I'm ready for," he murmured, rubbing his nose against hers. "It's not what I want – I mean, it _is_ what I want, but it's not _all_ that I want, from you." Still holding her tight, he began kissing her, first her lips, then her cheeks, then along her hairline, then back to her lips. "Don't you want something, too, Alex," he whispered. "From me? With me?"

She knew the answer, but she couldn't say it. She couldn't say it! She tried to wriggle out of his arms, but again he held fast, so she once again hid her burning face again in his shirt. She felt tears leaking out of her eyes just as her lids touched the soft cotton.

"_Say it_," he implored.

"Yes," she finally mumbled. "Yes, I do. And I'm really pissed at you for making me tell you!" He laughed and lifted her clear off her feet, then swung her around and plopped her back down.

He tried to kiss her again, but she refused to budge. "You're really mad at me, aren't you?" She nodded. "But not just because of a few words? You're mad at me for arranging this evening." She didn't acknowledge him, but he hadn't been asking, he already knew. "It confused you, made you feel like you couldn't trust me."

"I'm sorry," she said into his shirt.

"It's OK, sweetheart, but… _why_?"

"I just… Do I really get to have you?"

"You've always had me. _Always. _It was never going to end any other way."

**o.o.o.o.o**

So instead of leaving, the hoodie came off again, and she ended up back on the sofa with Bobby. First straddling his lap, showing him that she could give as well as take, then beneath him, caresses deeper and skin-to-skin but still chaste, exploring with their hands that which their eyes already knew so well.

When she finally suggested bed – to sleep, for tonight anyway – and they were sitting up awkwardly, fastening things that would have fallen off otherwise as they stood, Bobby said his first full sentence in many minutes. "Now _this_, is a date."

~.~.~.~.~

**A/N 2:** For all my quick-witted readers, yes, I did re-use a line of dialogue from another fic of mine. And to JM, who left an anonymous review… yeah, I know exactly what I was saying. I was a professional musician for 20 years. I laugh whenever I read people describe VDO or BG's voice as being 'deep'… his speaking voice is a high baritone at best, and when he gets upset he becomes positively squeaky.

_****_I so appreciate the time you took to read my fic_**! Please please review!**_

WORDS: 2496 UPLOADED Saturday, May 21, 2011


	5. XOCHIQUETZAL

**A/N 1:** Anybody see the clip on USA? The maybe uber-shippy, shrink scene(s)? I haven't, but I really really want to.

~.~.~.~.~

**CHAPTER FIVE: XOCHIQUETZAL**

Alex awoke to a pleasant buzz of arousal that she hadn't felt in donkey's years. She'd ended up in Bobby's bed, where they'd fooled around like teenagers before falling asleep in the wee hours, dressed just in their underwear. Part of her… a very big part, actually, had wanted to peel off the rest of her clothes and give herself to him, but she was glad that they'd decided to wait.

Now, much too early considering how late they'd been up, she was awake and alert to the strong, warm body pressing against her, the furry leg and arm holding her close, and the erection pressing against her bottom.

Would it be mean of her to wiggle against him? She wanted to, so badly. But too late. The bear behind her stirred, thrust twice against her, and brushed a paw over her breasts. "Alex," he mumbled. She revelled in the pleasure of being desired, sighing and stretching, grinding against him in the process.

"Morning."

Bobby squeezed her tight from behind and started kissing her neck. "You're really here."

"Just try and get rid of me."

"Hmmm… no thanks. You got somewhere to be?"

He was still kissing her, and she grabbed his hand to draw it back to her breasts. "Nope. I'd like to stay here with you, but I'd also really like to brush my teeth. I don't have a toothbrush with me."

"Oh I have an extra toothbrush you can use."

She scowled. "Did you get that for Alexa?"

"Who?" He looked at her for a second. "Oh, uh no," he laughed. "I got it for you, actually."

"For me? You were that sure, huh?" She leaned over lightning fast and yanked open his bedside table, pulling out a new box of condoms, still in the drug store bag, and waving them triumphantly. "Aha! You thought I'd sleep with you on our first date? The one I didn't even know it was a date?"

"You did. Sleep with me on our first date."

Then she looked back at the familiar logo on the bag and did a double take. "Hey. I was with you when you bought these."

**o.o.o.o.o**

Just a few minutes later, they were back in bed. They hadn't actually talked about how far to go, but Bobby seemed to sense exactly what was far enough. His kisses were even better the second day – which she didn't hesitate to tell him – and his bare skin against hers felt heavenly.

"Last night," she confessed, "I was trying not to think about what you've been getting up to lately in this bedroom."

"What I've been getting up to? Fantasizing about this, is what I've been getting up to lately in here."

They'd only been awake for fifteen minutes or so when Bobby's intercom buzzed. He pulled back, frowned, then understanding dawned on his face and he bolted up, throwing on last night's clothes that had been discarded carelessly on the floor. "I'll just be a sec, Eames," he muttered.

Alex lay there alone, trying not to feel insecure. It was weird that he'd called her by her last name and run off so quickly, but would a romantic interest be bothering him at 8am on a Saturday? And hadn't he just as good as said she was the only one he was interested in? Then she heard a woman's voice intermingle with her partner's, and she couldn't stay put any longer. Throwing on her own clothes, she burst through the bedroom door and tried to make a dignified entrance to his front room.

Bobby was standing just inside his front door, conversing with a very young, very fit and beautiful girl in a baby blue track suit. He turned at the sound of her arrival looking as guilty as she'd ever seen him. She raised an eyebrow. This couldn't possibly be as bad as it looked.

"Alex this is Justine, my, uh, personal trainer." His _personal trainer_. She smiled at her partner, but he wouldn't meet her eye. "I forgot, um, about our appointment."

"Hi," the gal said, waving. "We usually spend Saturday mornings together." She gave Alex a once-over and smirked. "But, um, now that you've reached your – _goal_ – Bobby, I guess you don't need me any more?"

Her poor beleaguered Bobby, hung his head and shook it morosely. "I guess not."

Alex walked over to Justine and offered her hand, then spoke to her partner. "I think you should go."

He made a face. "But we…"

She reached out and touched his arm, and her heart melted a little at how his whole demeanour changed at her tiny caress. "I'll still be here when you get back."

"OK." Then to Justine, he said, "I do have a lot of calories to burn off."

Now she looked her client up and down. "Are you sure you haven't burned a bunch of them off already?" Cheeky girl.

Justine waited outside while Bobby got changed into his exercise clothes. Funny how Alex's anxiety and insecurity dissolved to nothing in an instant. Sure the girl was beautiful, but it was clear that Bobby wasn't interested. She seemed nice though. On his side. He needed people like that.

Bobby touched Alex's waist as he tromped past her in the narrow foyer, then popped back to kiss her. "I'll miss you," he murmured.

"I'll be waiting," she replied. "You know where."

She had to push him out the door.

**o.o.o.o.o**

Two hours later, they were back in bed. "So this was your goal, huh? Me? And you? Here?"

Bobby buried his head in the pillow and groaned.

"Don't be embarrassed," Alex said, running her fingers through his shower-damp hair, "I'm flattered. _Really_ flattered. But… what was the timeline of this master plan of yours? You've been working out with a personal trainer for… how long?"

"A few months."

"And why was that?"

"To catch the eye of a certain detective."

"And guess what? It worked. But how did you manage all this? You work your butt off for months at the gym, and then completely by accident you bump into me at a bookstore and two days later you're buying an espresso machine and a spare toothbrush, all to get me here?"

"And guess what? It worked."

**o.o.o.o.o**

_A little bit later…_

"So about my question..."

Bobby finished munching his half of the asparagus sandwich they were both eating in bed. The diffuse light from the rainy afternoon peeked in through the half-closed blinds, and Alex was captivated by the way her almost-lover's facial muscles worked as he chewed. How had she not noticed before? How his lips got red when he licked them, and how sexy he looked when he sucked garlic mayo off his fingers.

As far as she was concerned, they could spend the whole rest of their lives in bed. She was amazed at how quickly she'd gotten used to the large, warm bulk of him, comforting and arousing. And she loved how much he seemed to love having her there. Although he hadn't yet _had her_ there… that would come soon.

Bobby smiled sweetly at her. "I thought about you every time I went to _Kakaw_. I just didn't know how to ask you to go with me. When I saw you at the bookstore…" His face took on a faraway look, although he was still looking straight at her. "I'd had our whole first date planned out in my head for ages… I just needed to know I had a chance."

Alex thought back to that day, trying to think of what had tipped him off that he 'had a chance'. "Was it something I said at the café?"

He shook his head as best he could from his half-sitting position. "Nah, way before that, in the bookstore. When I first looked at you, from across the room. The look on your face… I'd never seen it before. I had this – body blow – and I knew that you'd been hiding. Same as me."

**o.o.o.o.o**

_Even a little later…_

"I have to confess something. I told you a lie last night."

They were still in bed. Alex was surreptitiously trying to kick pastry crumbs out from under the sheet without further disturbing the man she'd just elbowed for giving her a hickey. She knew he'd fibbed to her, but she played along. "A lie?"

"Yup. It's the first and last lie I'll ever tell you."

"Oh. Um… Can I guess?"

"Yeah, but you never will."

She smirked and pinched his side. "You've seen _Chocolat_ and _Like Water for Chocolate_."

Hah! She'd managed to surprise him. "How'd you figure it out? Or did I tell you before?"

"Oh come on, Bobby. Food, foreigners and sweaty people? How could you have missed them?"

**o.o.o.o.o**

_And later still…_

"I feel like a bit of an idiot." They'd finally gotten out of bed, Bobby expressing concern that a whole day on her back might give her a headache. _So thoughtful, and such a way with words_, she'd muttered. They were back in last night's clothes, eating pizza and salad at the kitchen table.

"Idiot? Why?"

"For getting upset at you for… last night. Your big plan. I mean it was the most any man has ever done for me _ever_, who gets mad at that?"

Bobby looked thoughtfully at her. "You're not used to people making a fuss over you, and you don't like to be the centre of attention."

"True." Speaking of attention... how could his scrutiny have ever bothered her? Sitting next to him at his little table, on his right so that they wouldn't knock elbows while they ate, the murmured insights were a turn-on, no longer an irritation. She felt so at home here, and his content, possessive expression told her that he felt the same.

"And you didn't understand my motivation. Which was my fault. Sorry."

She shrugged and smiled. "No problem. Anyways, I'm over it. Feel free to repeat, any time."

"Repeat?" He stuck her in the ribs with his elbow, gazing at her affectionately. "But I've already got you. What possible motivation could I have to repeat?"

"You could do it just because you love me." She instantly realised her slip. She froze, looking up at him apprehensively.

"I could," he finally said. "For that exact reason, I could."

"Me too," she whispered.

~.~.~.~.~

**A/N 2:** The story was going to end here, but after I posted Chapter 1, I had a Stepen King-esque idea for an epilogue. NO, not a gory sub-plot or supernatural twist, rather capitulating to the subtext that I'd unconsciously created for the fic. You'll like it – it ties the whole thing together. It also might prompt a change of title… _cookies to anyone who can guess to what…_

In the meantime, if you're looking for something to do, PLEASE REVIEW!


	6. EPILOGUE: SOMEWHERE TO BE

**A/N 1:** Thank you to everyone who sent me links to views and downloads of the ad with all the psych sessions. Sorry this took so long… hope you like the coda!

~.~.~.~.~

**EPILOGUE: SOMEWHERE TO BE**

"Hey Nate. Your homework's done, right?"

"Yup. I finished it last night."

It was six weeks since she and Bobby had bumped into each other at the bookstore. A warm, windy Sunday in June, they'd decided to spend it at Central Park. Nate was running around with a kite in his hand, trying to get it up in the air by himself, while she lay next to Bobby on a blanket, whispering to him the things she was going to do to him later. He abruptly rolled onto his stomach and grunted, but didn't ask her to stop. Who knew that this man, who used words so deftly at work, and who was so bereft of them when his heart was involved, would be so easily driven 'round the bend by dirty talk?

The special treatment was a thank-you. For Nate. Because yeah, now she got to see him a whole weekend a month. Saturday morning to Sunday night, no phone calls. Thanks to Bobby two weeks ago saying to her family what she never felt she could. She didn't know if it was compassion or blind terror that had changed Liz's mind, but she didn't care.

**o.o.o.o.o**

There was a reading today, at the bookstore. Alex had noticed the signs when she'd just happened to drive by the place on her way to pick up Nate Saturday morning. Well, not on her way… far out of her way, actually.

But she'd not been able to shake the tiny sliver of insecurity that had pricked at her happiness and self-confidence… did he ever still see Alexa? Did he feel anything for her? Could he feel anything for her? Would him having Alex in his life make her less enthusiastic, or more determined?

This morning, she'd popped by _Kakaw_ on her way to Bobby's. How different things had seemed… and how much the same. A blustery day. Nate in the back seat staring out at the fluffy, scudding clouds. Her cell phone ringing.

But this time, it was her _boyfriend_, calling to find out why she was late.

"No reason. Sorry. See you in a few."

He'd been waiting outside on the stoop when she'd pulled up. Nate had leaned over the gear shift and honked Alex's horn, just in case.

"Nate had this great idea," she said as she handed Bobby a travel mug of spicy hot chocolate. The crew at _Kakaw_ had predictably refused to provide any more consignments of premium chocolate and secret spices, now that Bobby had 'successfully wooed the lady'. So they'd had to go there in person, _le sigh_, when they – or rather she – hadn't taken advantage of Bobby's new machine.

"Nice, thanks," he'd replied.

**o.o.o.o.o**

The chocolate was long gone, and now Alex and Bobby were cleaning up the remnants of lunch while Nate played nearby.

"So have you been back to the bookstore," Alex asked, adding "To sign," at Bobby's look of confusion.

He frowned and pouted. "Nope," he said.

"I hope you didn't quit because of me." Which, she realised the moment she said it, was true.

"You? No, um, the owner told me she doesn't need me any more."

Alex found herself feeling indignant on his behalf. "Oh. Well, that's too bad."

"Nah, it's OK. I don't really have as much free time any more anyway," he said with a smile. "Um, Alex?"

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Why would you think I'd quit because of you?"

Now she felt embarrassed. "Uh, because maybe you'd think I'd be jealous?"

"Jealous? Of what?"

"Of who. Alexa."

He seemed genuinely perplexed. "Why would you be jealous of _her_?"

Alex leaned back sensuously, closing her eyes and smiling.

"Um, what are you doing?"

"Just basking in the reflected glow of your obliviousness."

"OK."

"And by the way," she said, bouncing up and leaning over him, "I love you."

**o.o.o.o.o**

"But no seriously, why would you be jealous of, um, Alexa?"

Alex was torn between fear of exposing herself by answering, pity for the poor woman who Bobby clearly felt nothing for, and exasperation at the man in front of her for being so self-centred. "Bobby, you went to her store regularly and took her out for coffee."

"Yeah. So?"

"So, it seemed to me like you were dating her, like there was something there."

"But I already told you that coffees aren't dates."

"Well, I think she thought that they were. And I thought they were." She tried to speak as gently as she could, but he recoiled from her words like she'd smacked him. "I'm sorry… I don't want to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad. She just – she seemed like – the type of woman you'd go for."

Bobby's face softened and he looked away, then focused his gaze on her so forcefully that she felt like a bug under a microscope. "I never thought of any woman as the 'type I'd go for'," he said softly, "Until about three years ago."

Alex felt the grin on her face and tried not to seem too gleeful. "You mean me?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "You know, I never ever felt comfortable around anyone, _anyone_, until I met you? I'd actually never known what it felt like to be at ease in the company of another human being." He reached for her, pulling her up and onto him, and squeezed her tight against his chest. Alex gave in to the temptation to run her fingers through his messy grey curls; she still hadn't completely gotten used to the notion that she could touch him whenever she liked. Then she swept her fingertips down to his sensitive mouth, scraping her short nails lightly over them, thinking about kissing him. She looked up when she saw him smiling, but his eyes were thoughtful as well as happy. "Hey listen, you think I, um, owe her an apology?"

**o.o.o.o.o**

The diffused points of light that poked through the slits of her eyelids were what told Alex she'd drifted off. Her vision still blurry from sleep as she cautiously opened her eyes and stretched, the dappled sunlight through the leaves above and reflecting off the nearby wading pool moved like a living thing across her vision, a sparkly miasma of shapes and colours.

Sparkly, was how she'd been feeling lately. When her eyes finally focused and rested on what she'd been seeking through the shower of light, the kaleidoscopic effect didn't lessen. Nate was in a clearing by the pond blowing bubbles straight up, and laughing as Bobby and a cute Golden Retriever both tried to chase them down.

Boy and man both turned to look at her, and despite the distance and her supine position, she felt and almost saw the sphere of iridescent light expanding to embrace her. She was a part of this… this was her life now, too. This was somewhere to be.

~.~.~.~.~

**A/N 2: **This has been a fun and satisfying ride, and I want to sincerely thank all the readers, reviewers, favers, PMers, and alerters for your interest and support. Even though I feel on a bit of a rollercoaster over what's to come with the new season, there's still plenty more (fics) to come!

This is your last chance (for this fic), so PLEASE REVIEW!

WORDS: 1301 UPLOADED Tuesday, June 14, 2011


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